Set Apart

It's been like a week since I blogged. That's depressing. I need to do better. I have been thinking about a great deal of shtuff lately and I should be writing about it seeing as how that is the best way I think. Joel and I broke up last week which has actually been quite incredible. Things with us were good, we were content, we got along, no big deal. However, after a late night phone chat we had last week, he really opened my eyes to the fact that we were in a place of mediocrity, we both know that we could be a heck of a lot happier, but why take that risk when what we have is tolerable? I realized how scared I was to not be with him. He has been a part of my life for nearly two years and every moment has been fun. We hardly argued, and by hardly I mean you would have better luck running into a unicorn. We truly cared for the other's well being more than our own. We always had fun together. We meshed many of our own hobbies together and found some common ground. My family loved him. His fam...well my family loved him. Everyone thought we were great. Hell, I thought we were great. So it really threw me off guard when he told me he didn't think we were going to make it. Yet, after we talked it out, I realized everything I just described to you is a friendship. We had nothing more. We were definitely attracted to one another. We loved one another. But beyond that, there was nothing more. We had no passion, no romance. I didn't think these things were important, but recent events have shown me that those things exist, and that they are wonderful and crucial to a dating relationship. Beyond that, we are in totally different places right now. He has a house and a job and the next step for him is marriage, naturally. For me, I am only in my second year in college, loving every moment, changing my mind all the time as to what I want to do with my life. but there are things I want to do that I wouldn't be able to do with him. Things I wasn't really ready to sacrifice. I think there is someone out there way better for him. I am praying now that he finds her. The good news is, we are still so close. In fact, our relationship hasn't really changed, which proves to me how much more of a friendship it was rather than a romance. We are always going to be friends, and I hope we will always be the friends we are right now. We are going to hang out all the time, we talk every day. It's exactly what we both want. So now, he is focusing on himself, and I'm focusing on me, and that's what we both need.


So, today, I was reading a bit about Paul and the author of the study mentioned something that truly blew my mind.
She said:"As God carefully watched the small child at paly, at school, and at worship, I wonder if He thought, Someday, My child, you will work for Me.
At first, I thought, O yea, Paul is awesome, I bet God was so looking forward to watching his transformation and anticipating the incredible influential journey they had together. And it hit me, Beth Anne, God thinks the same things towards you. When He created you, and you entered this world, He said "I can't wait to share the moments we will have. And watch my daughter grow into the woman I designed her to be. It's going to be wonderful and she will change the world." Paul is Paul because he followed God's plan for his life. Without his fervent dedication and unyielding faith, he would have just been Paul, or more accurately, Saul. God is calling me out in this area. He is waiting so patiently for me to give it all up and follow Him. It's Paul that says To Live Is Christ, To Die Is Gain and who better an example that truly lived that out in his life. It is because he died to himself and let God live through him everyday, that he became the most significant symbol, next to Jesus, of Christendom. The only thing holding me back from being just as influential and just as intimate to Christ, is me. God set me apart. He created me to do great things for Him. I want to do those things. I will begin the action steps in order to make that happen. I want God to be my life, not a part of it. I want everyone who meets me to immediately see Christ in me, whether it repels them or attracts them. I want to smell like the sweet aroma of Christ so that when I enter a room everyone will know who I have been with. I can't wait for this very difficult journey with my Creator. I am learning so much. He loves me so much. He accepts me for all that I am. He is unconditionally devoted to me and He desires all of that in return.
"God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles" Galatians 1:15-16